Hey dear people, it’s time for some real talk about fashion.
The following items are ones I wish were considered normal every day wear for adults.
And I mean all adults — male, female, whatever — Because I feel really really sad about how society is all “No dudes, you can’t wear that because manly manliness.”
Because they are light and fluffy and make me want to twirl and dance. And there’s nothing wrong with that, unless you live in a town like the one in Footloose. And Kevin Bacon sure did show that town. Tutus for ALL!
With your own logo. I don’t care what The Incredibles says, capes are always appropriate. Casual, comfy, but can also be dressed up for a special occasion. Also, in case of emergency I imagine that capes can be quite useful. Like for protecting oneself from bad weather, bandaging wounds, or impressing that cute person you’ve had an eye on with some mad cape twirling skills.
For those with Scottish blood in them to show off their heritage and pride. For those who aren’t, to allow for better air circulation and movement. Just, y’know, learn how to not sit with your legs wide open and we’ll all be good.
Because they are fabulous. Don’t deny it. And when you get in a huff you can do that toss over the shoulder thing with a boa and stomp off in a way that just cannot be done when you don’t have one.
Jedi Robes, Star Trek Fleet uniforms, all various forms of cosplay, etc.
Because badass. Obvs.
You’re probably wondering why, amongst all the things I’ve listed so far, colour is included. It doesn’t seem way out there like a few other items. But also consider how many people you know who just stick to black, white, navy, khaki, beige and more black. Pastels are pushing it when it comes to entering the realm of colour. And yes, a few brave folk will wear a hot pink dress, but not many.
I figure it’s some sort of both sociological and psychological thing, where people are told they shouldn’t stand out, and should minimize themselves, and feel ridiculously self conscious if they are in a colour that could attract attention. Especially women, especially women with plumpness to them because BLACK IS SLIMMING AND WE MUST HIDE HOW FAT AN ASS IS FROM THE WORLD. Or something.
Eff that noise. Life is too short to hide and not wear colour.
SO MUCH GLITTER
BECAUSE SPARKLY AND SHINY AND OMG SO MUCH GLITTER I WANT TO BLOW MY NOSE AND HAVE GLITTER COME OUT.
All the time. Everywhere. Snowstorms, black tie galas, weddings.
Because who doesn’t want to wear a jaunty hat now and then? I consider it a travesty that fascinators don’t seem to appear on the scene except when us in North America decide something interesting is happening in England and then we’re all “dude, wtf is attached to their heads?”
And hey, for you idiots who WANT to wear something interesting and unique, it’s a way better choice than being a racist and wearing what you think is some version of a First Nation headdress. Just sayin’.