After noticing that our intern never arrived this morning, we leapt into action to fill the empty void of a seat.

I present to you Zoey 2.0

Zoey 2.0 - ready write thrilling ledes

As you can see, we paid a great attention to detail in creating Zoey 2.0 Notice the smiling happy face. Notice the tea cup, carefully cradled in her arms. It’s an excellent replica. Notice the yellow bow in her hair. Zoey 1.0 doesn’t wear a bow – but her second in command sure does!

Zoey 2.0 even wisely ignored our sports reporter. Just like Zoey 1.0.

Just pretend you don't hear him, and we'll all be fine!

Unfortunately, when Zoey 1.0 arrived at work, she became enraged with jealousy and destroyed Zoey 2.0 in duel akin to the immortals in Highlander.

Or at least I assume so, as I was out when it happened. When I returned Zoey 2.0 was disassembled into pieces on the floor.

It was probably for the best. If Zoey 2.0 proved herself, how long before we’re all replaced by overturned garbage cans and boxes wearing sweaters?