I blame my parents for not being able to enjoy a ridiculous amount of the delicious food that exists in this world.

Salt: The sworn enemy of my family.

See, once upon a time my father was diagnosed with high blood pressure and all that stuff. Which meant he had to go on a low-sodium diet.

Which meant ALL OF US ended up on a low-sodium diet. That is how families work: When one person is miserable, we all get to be miserable! It’s called teamwork.

Anyone who has gone on a low-sodium diet will tell you how bland food tastes at first. It’s like detox for your tastebuds. And if you have a mother like mine, who rules with an iron will and fist, no one is going back to a lovely-salt-filled existence. Oh no, not under her roof.

Which means eventually you get sober, and off the salt.

Unfortunately, we live in North America. So anything and everything even remotely processed is oversaturated in salt. Crackers. Soups. Nachos chips. French fries. Chips. Sandwiches. Most restaurant food. EVERYTHING.

In theory, there is so much awesomely delicious food out there. In practice, years of dining on low-sodium food has left me unable to partake in many of these delicious foods without usually giving up after a few bites or feeling sick afterwards.

Also, dear salt-lovers? It’s not just you – all of those “low-salt” foods taste like a kick in the face of deliciousness.

Oh sure, maybe this all means I won’t eventually die from high blood pressure/heart disease/etc. But it does mean I’m now eating a bowl of plain peas for dinner. Out of my own free will.

I am crying on the inside.

I kind of hate myself.